10 things every new parent should know.

1. Childbirth is painful.  It is memorable i'll give you that... BECAUSE IT IS PAINFUL!
2. Remember the clean bathroom? I don't.
3. What the hell is that stuck on the ceiling? last nights' spaghetti my friend, it does in fact stick when its done.
4. Seek God, pray. You connect with the Lord plus they won't bother you because by this time you will have instilled in them the fear of God. Trust me they will not mess with Him.
5. I'm sure there's a bed under that clothes.
6. Charity plays an intricate role in the development of your child. My son has taken to feeding third world countries, he keeps them in his stomach.
7. What the hell is that stuck on the ceiling? (no, I'm not repeating #3), oh no worries, it's the soap... just in case we run out.
8. Food? I haven't eaten since 1998.
9. Television is overrated, keep that in mind because you won't be seeing your favorite shows for a long, long time.
10. Love them. They grow up so fast and before you know it you'll be missing those monday morning fights on the way to school.One last thing, Don't try typing thing like this when your children are home, this here is my second draft, I accidentally erased the first one when my four year old climbed into the oven thinking it was a great hiding place in her infinite game of hide and go seek with her older sister.